Author Sharon Thompson this week shares a good grumble about visitors that seemingly wait until your house is upside-down to call.
Author Sharon Thompson
Moville writer Sharon Thompson this week presents another short story exploring the life of local women.
We’ve all been in the same situation as this week’s tale. Nobody calls to your house for weeks, and then suddenly a surprise visitor comes around!
If only we had a warning text so we can shove everything into a spare room for the afternoon…
Enjoy this read today, and share it with anyone who will relate!
Why is it that visitors wait until your house is upside-down to call?
I may rephrase that to – Why do people call when the house is more upside than usual?
You know the time when you’ve a pile of dirty washing on the kitchen table beside the breakfast things and it’s well into the afternoon? Or the dishwasher’s having a crisis and the hoover needs new bags and you say –
Always when there is a sink full of dishes…
‘Sure I’ll read a bit of Facebook or Sharon’s column…. No-one will call in unannounced on a Sunday?’
Then – Knock knock ‘Hullo it’s only me… ’
‘F…. lippin’ great to see ya.’
It’s always the time the dog’s bed is the smelliest and when you’ve drained the last of the milk from the carton ??… and are praying himself picks some up when he’s coming back from Mass/golf?
Now you’re grand if the caller gets your life-style and has a worse outlook on household chores. But doubtless it’ll not be the caller who’s got twenty messy kids and allows wellies into the house.
Choosing to wear white wasn’t the best option…
It’ll be THE one person who does minimalism well and has a cleaning rota which includes weekly washing of the skirting boards. God love this caller. She’s a darling person (whom you love) but she’s wearing white sneakers and cream trousers and has unwittingly stood in the dog poop on the path and wants to sit on the chair you’ve a feeling had jam on it earlier.
‘Coffee. Yes. Please,’ she says, as you see a piece of lego stuck to the poop on her white sole. ‘Oh black is fine. Don’t worry I know what it’s like.’
But your heart sinks. There’s no way she understands the turmoil, as you brave opening the cupboard. You know hoards of opened biscuit packages will cascade out with abandon.
Rescuing the least stale package from the floor you add, ‘it’s great you called.’
How is it possible to lie and tell the truth at the same time, while flinging the dog and laundry into the utility-room?
‘Please don’t mind the mess.’
As a good friend she ignores her sticky arse and the smells wafting off the bin. And it’s only you who’s traumatised by every stray hair, cobweb and dirty dish. Following the conversation is difficult as you’re wishing she arrived last Sunday, when you’re sure all was fine and dandy.
‘I was just saying,’ you tell Himself, who has bought milk (like the saint that he is), ‘I was just saying, that we usually have a clean house – especially on a Sunday.’
‘Do we?’ says he.
‘Why oh why is it that callers call when your house is more upside down the usual?’
July 23, 2017
Know the feeling!!
Great piece Sharon – look forward to next week.