The S-Mum, Maria, provides a 'mammy' translation to the remarks people make when you're pregnant.
Rational thinking goes out the window the second a pregnancy test indicates a positive result.
Logic goes with it.
They are replaced by panic and worry and fear.
From the moment the word “Pregnant” appeared on the little screen over 6 years ago, the sensible and calm me has been replaced gradually by what I like to call the “Hormental” Me.
And of course, we CAN blame hormones for our newly irrational, illogical and panicked minds… But we can also blame ANOTHER factor.
People.
When you are pregnant, people and the things that people say, when mixed with the hormones and genuine fears of pregnancy, create an explosive cocktail of mental mayhem.
Generally people mean no harm and their comments are 100% innocent, but what they say and what we HEAR are often two very different things.
Person Says: “Oh my Gosh, you’re so neat!”
Mammy thinks: “Oh my Gosh, there’s something wrong. My baby must be too small. What if he isn’t growing properly? When is my next appointment? I wonder is it too late to ring my midwife? I must order a doppler online right now. Why am I not bigger? What’s wrong with me? Something’s wrong…”
Person Says: “Oh my Gosh, you’re blooming!”
Mammy thinks: “Oh my Gosh, there’s something wrong. I’m too big. I must have extra fluid. What’s wrong with me? What if there’s something wrong with the Baby? Or maybe I’m just fat. I must look like an upturned turtle. I’m huge. When is my next appointment? I wonder is it too late to ring my midwife? I must order a doppler online right now. Why am I so big? What’s wrong with me? Something’s wrong…”
Person Says: “Oh my Gosh, you’re carrying so low!”
Mammy thinks: “Oh my Gosh, there’s something wrong. I’m too low. I must have dropped. I’m too early to be low. I’m going to go early. There’s something wrong with the Baby? When is my next appointment? I wonder if I should ring Maternity…What’s wrong with me? Something’s wrong…”
Person Says: “Oh my Gosh, you’re carrying so high!”
Mammy thinks: “Oh my Gosh, there’s something wrong. I’m too high. I must look like I have three boobs. Why am I so high? Should my bump not be lower? There’s something wrong with the Baby? When is my next appointment? I wonder if I should ring Maternity…What’s wrong with me? Something’s wrong…”
Person Says: “Are you feeling lots of kicks?”
Mammy thinks: “Oh my Gosh, when did I last feel a kick? I can’t remember. It hasn’t kicked today. Did I feel kicks yesterday? How do I know if it’s kicks or just wind?There’s something wrong. When is my next appointment? I wonder if I should ring Maternity…What’s wrong with me? Something’s wrong…”
Person Says: “Oh my Gosh, you look wrecked!”
Mammy thinks: “Oh my Gosh, she’s right. I look awful. Why am I so tired? I’m too pale. My iron must be low. Can I buy an iron level tester online? There’s something wrong with the Baby. When is my next appointment? I wonder if I should ring Maternity…What’s wrong with me? Something’s wrong…”
Person Says: “Oh my Gosh! You look AMAZING!”
Mammy thinks: “Oh my Gosh, there’s something wrong. I should be sick. Should I not be tired by now? Why do I feel so well? What’s wrong with me? Oh my God, there’s something wrong with the Baby? I When is my next appointment? I wonder if I should ring Maternity…What’s wrong with me? Something’s wrong…”
See the pattern?!
No matter WHAT people say, on certain days, your rewired Baby Brain will divert immediately to the worst case scenario; to fear, to panic. And this is completely normal. It’s our brains preparing for the constant alertness of being a Mammy. It’s instinct kicking in and it’s one of the ways we ensure that our little beans are as safe as we can possibly keep them, from the second they’re conceived.
If I had called Maternity every time I felt the urge to, I’d have been on the phone to the poor midwives 24/7. Hell, I’d have moved into the labour ward the day I peed on the stick if it had been an option! 🙂
People say things to us, meaning no harm whatsoever. We can’t help but over-think things. It’s normal to overreact, especially when people make silly, albeit innocent, statements like the crackers above.
(But joking aside, if you DO have a niggling worry or concern or you just feel like something isn’t right, DO contact your GP or PHN. Follow your gut… or bump. You might be irrational and illogical and slightly hormental, but you’re also a Mammy-in-the-making and Mammy knows best.)
The S-Mum xx
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