The third episode of the already classic 'Derry Girls' graced our screens on Channel Four last night.

The razor-sharp wit and side-splitting situations the four girls (and James) find themselves in as they negotiate their teenage years have had us in bits for the past three weeks.

Last night was a particularly divine episode, putting a smirk on even Our Lady’s face.

 

Here’s our top ten moments from last night’s episode:

 

(1) Michelle’s take on Irish history

Easing Clare’s fears about not having revised the Irish famine for the history exam ahead, Michelle provided a brief synopsis: “We’ve got the gist. We ran out of spuds and everyone was raging.”

In response to James’ confusion between rebellions and risings, Michelle quips: “If your lot had stopped invading us for five f*cking minutes, there’d be a lot less to wade through. You English prick.”

 

(2) “Is he okay?”

“I wouldn’t say so no. He is a priest like.”

 

(3) Father Peter’s entrance.

Would anyone else be slightly more eager to get out of bed for Sunday morning mass if Father Peter was your parish priest?

 

(4) “Swear on Dolly!”

The one true moral compass.

 

(5) “Does anybody have 10p? I’m ringing Childline.”

“You can’t ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you Erin.”

 

(6) Big M’s suspicious teardrop.

“We’re the motherf*cking children of Fatima people.”

 

(7) “Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick”

Except maybe Pat Sharp from Fun House.

 

(8) Michelle’s advice to an infatuated Erin

“He said I was special.”
“He also said your dead dog was f*cking resurrected so pinch of salt.”

 

(9) Next stop – Rome.

After finding Toto’s empty grave, Father Peter says that their next stop is Rome for an audience with the big man.

He means Pope John Paul II. Not Pavarotti. Sorry Orla.

 

(10) Hitting headlines

The girls hit the front page of the Derry Journal, being upgraded from their promised slot on the fifth page.

The Derry Journal today featured Derry Girls, about the Derry Journal‘s feature in Derry Girls of the Derry girls (try saying that ten times fast!)