If an internal negative voice is harming your confidence, Counsellor Sarah Barr has daily steps to take to improve your self-worth.

We all have that annoying, negative voice in our heads. The voice that criticises, doubts and generally puts you down. Destroying your confidence and feeding your anxiety.

Sometimes we believe the negative self-talk as it triggers of certain negative beliefs we have about ourselves. These limiting negative beliefs are often formed in childhood, from the labels that were unfairly attached to you by someone else.

Challenging this misconception of yourself and the mistaken negative identity that was formed can help you to build your confidence and self-worth.

Below are a few ways you can show yourself some self-compassion:

‘It’s okay that you’re feeling nervous, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you’

1. Self-kindness:

When we judge and evaluate ourselves negatively, our self-confidence begins to plummet. We have a tendency to listen to that little negative, bullying voice in our mind. The voice that tells you, you are not good enough, you will be awkward or you will not succeed. These thoughts increase anxiety and can impair your ability to be authentic or true to yourself.

Self-compassion is about showing yourself kindness. Imagine a friend is sitting beside you, offering you encouragement, by saying “It’s okay that you’re feeling nervous, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you”.

2. Mindfulness:

Mindfulness is a practice that helps us to notice and acknowledge our thoughts and stops us from over-identifying with them. A thought is just a thought, it is not a fact.

Meditation or breathing exercises (apps such as headspace and calm are brilliant) can help you to live more in the moment and allow your thoughts to pass like clouds.

3. Reflect:

Reminding yourself of your daily ‘wins’ or accomplishments will help to strengthen your confidence. I always suggest keeping a list or to add it to your daily journal. In the evening reflect on your day and write down one win for that day, big or small. It could be an act of kindness to someone you love, stepping outside your comfort zone, calling a friend or taking a shower.

A common thinking pattern is to dismiss the positive, by saying it didn’t matter or it was a fluke. It does matter and it isn’t a fluke. By establishing a daily habit of focusing and celebrating your achievements for that day, you will help to boost your confidence and help to quieten that little negative voice.

Taking care of your wellbeing and working on improving your confidence is a daily practice. By becoming aware of your triggers and beliefs and adopting a more compassionate approach to yourself will help you feel confident in who you are.

Take care,

Sarah.